Mailvox: everyone’s a critic

Spacebunny writes:

I don’t actually pick the movies. These are just the ones that happen to be on t.v. I haven’t actually rented a movie in years. Besides, the last movie Vox picked was Van Helsing for pity’s sake.

It was a movie with Kate Beckinsale wearing a tight corset! I apologize for nothing. Sure, it wasn’t as good as the movie with Kate Beckinsale in a vinyl catsuit, but… oh, who am I kidding. Van Helsing was the worst movie I have seen in a long, long time. The writers should have VH branded on their foreheads just so no one will ever make the mistake of hiring them again, and the director should be rolled in bat guano then forced to parade through Hollywood wearing nothing but a black cape and plastic fangs.