Mailvox: but how can you help it?

George steps over the line in asserting his heterosexuality:

“What would be your response be if I my planted my hand on Space Bunny’s well proportioned and firm rear end? Better yet, what would be her response?”

I’m extremely relaxed about such things. I expect most guys to be attracted to her; if you weren’t, I’d assume there’s something wrong with you. In any case, I’d likely ask you what the [insert offensive word of your choice here] you thought you were doing and inform you that she was with me, giving you the chance to extricate yourself from the situation. Spacebunny would probably slap your hand automatically, then ask the same question, albeit in a more heated manner.

If you did not back down, I’d inform you that you’d been warned and serious injury was imminent. If that did not suffice, I’d immediately render you unconscious or so badly injured that you were incapable of getting off the ground unaided.

I have administered three violent beatings in my life, the worst of which left me covered in the other guy’s blood from my fingertips to my elbows. The experience was intoxicating at first, but somewhat sickening after the adrenaline wore off. In my opinion, a simple proposition, however inappropriate, does not call for that level of immediate response.

I understand that some men flip out irrationally over homosexual advances. My brother certainly does, but I’ve always found such responses to be overly dramatic.