Here’s why the Vikings are going to win today:
1. Mike Tice will stop trying to think and throw caution to the winds. The Vikings always play better when he isn’t overstraining that underpowered noggin.
2. They already won in Lambeau this season. Sure the record book doesn’t show it, but every player on both teams knows that the refs handed the fumble, and the game, to Green Bay.
3. Randy Moss intends to play, seeing as the game is on national television and all.
4. The book says to run the ball when playing outside in January. This means there is a reasonable chance that one of the league’s best rushing attacks MIGHT actually run the ball more than 15 times.
5. Momentum is important for most teams, but not the Vikings. This collection of talented headcases are simply too undependable to be relied on to lose after backing into the playoffs on a wild card.
6. The NFC is up in the air. Everyone is eminently beatable. Even the Rams could easily go to the Super Bowl – I think every Mike Martz hater just got a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, can you believe they were out of time outs with almost four minutes left in the THIRD quarter! – and if Daunte, Moss, Burleson and the four-headed back attack hits on all cylinders, none of these NFC teams can stop them.
7. Unfortunately, Mike Tice can and probably will. Fortunately, his game day limitations are actually exceeded by Mike Sherman.
8. Ahman Green does not inspire the fear he has for the past three years. I should know, he’s been sitting on my bench for the latter half of the season. Number three pick in the draft and sadly sub-par (for a top RB) all year.
9. I’m not wearing the poisoned purple sweatshirt that my Packers-owning cheesehead mother-in-law treacherously gave me for Christmas this time. Instead, I’ve broken out old reliable, the Todd Scott #38 gamer that attracts Brett Favre interceptions like a magnet pulls iron shavings. The coffee is brewing, the lounger is waiting and the household is in full E-F-F-E-C-T otherwise known as effect.