Selfishness and sharing

What is less selfish, I wonder. To actively think about others’ desires but regularly refuse to share with them when asked, or to never think about others’ desires but readily share with them when asked? I don’t have an opinion on this except to admit that my personal bias is probably towards the latter, I was just curious what others thought on the issue.

It seems to me that to be unwilling to share/help/whatever is more of a conscious act than to simply not think about another individual, but perhaps that complete unconsciousness is actually more self-centered. Then again, a constant consciousness of other people and how they relate to one could be considered an extreme self-centeredness in its own right… and so it goes.