We apologize for the rampant colloquialisms

It’s Big Week in our fantasy football league, with WB’s Grizzlies going up against the dread Piranha in a cataclysmic battle for, (cough), last place. WB hurled a gauntlet by composing an ode to the upcoming game… it’s obviously going to be up to JamieR to judge the off-the-field winner. This, by the way, may help explain a) why I don’t get terribly worked up about my hate mail considering that it’s usually tamer than what I hear from my best friends, and b) why Crystal need not fear me turning media whore.

Anyhow, if you find NWA to be outside your range of musical tastes, you’d probably do well to skip this post….

Staright outta Greenfield

Crazy motherfu(ker named Lonzelle

Sippin’ gin and takin’ Eurotrash to hell!

VD is sawed off

I got a tall Moss

Roy Williams gettin’ corner backs hauled off

You too Vox if you fu(k wit’ me

Four straight losses makin’ iffy

Right to last

That how you goin’ out

You and the Shimmer

League bitches gettin’ blown out

Carson wants to rumble

He’s gettin’ humbled

Seattle D makes your punk ass fumble

You’d rather see me from more than a mile

Than right from behind doin’ ya Mankato style

Yo weekly monthly yearly

That chick Ahman’s gonna fear me

Deshaun Foster gettin’ picked and peeled

And how we rollin’?

We’re comin’ straight outta Greenfield

Of course, I had no choice but to add a second verse, setting the record straight:

Straight outta Greenfield, crazy pansy ass White Buffalo

Got a team full of jack with a front ho

When he’s called out, he turns about

Running away like a muthafukking girl scout

What you say, cos I can’t hear you

How you like that last-place cellar view?

Loser mumbles, he thinks he rumbles

Giving me 10 DEF points off the fumbles

And he’ll give it up right smooth

Because the Fish are always down for a jack move

That Lonzelle ain’t so much bright

With a win record like Rich Kotite

First-round draft is the devilish tool

Making WB look a muthafukkin fool

Picked Randall C. back in 99

Followed by Warner-n-Holcomb in joint decline

So bad, weekly, monthly and yearly,

He’s a dumb muthafukka, yo, clearly

That’s him with the W-B

Who ever lost to him – nobody!

So when he’s in your neighborhood, you’re in luck

Coz Greenfield is sh!tty like fukk