Why we must drug test

Speaking of fantasy football and attack dogs, I have to complain about the complete madhouse that is my fantasy football league. During this year’s draft last weekend, I took some merciless ribbing for my misplaced affection for Kelly Holcomb. Hey, the guy plays great, gets injured, comes back for the AFC playoffs and throws five touchdowns. What’s not to like?

Sure, he turned out to be a disaster, which is why Garcia is now starting for Cleveland, but it was a reasonable mistake. This didn’t prevent numerous cracks about my inability to judge QB talent, my drafting incompetence, etc. But here’s the point which demonstrates that my fellow GM’s are, without any doubt whatsoever, complete idiots. I NOT ONLY NEVER DRAFTED KELLY HOLCOMB, I NEVER HAD HIM!

I drafted two quarterbacks last year. Peyton Manning and Matt Hasselbeck. That’s two of the league’s top five QBs last year. The year before that, Brett Favre was my starter. The year before that, Donovan McNabb in his one great fantasy year. The year before that, I was alternating Daunte Culpepper and Jeff Garcia to overwhelming E-F-F-E-C-T otherwise known as effect.

It was the White Buffalo who drafted Kurt Warner and Kelly Holcomb last year, two misjudgements of stunning magnitude, only a few short years after DRAFTING RANDALL CUNNINGHAM #1 OVERALL in 1999 when his wheels were obviously about to fall off. And I’m the one who can’t judge QB talent? I am reluctantly forced to conclude that next year, we’re going to have to institute pre-draft drug-testing.