The Ballad of Brave Sir William

Bravely bold Sir William strode forth from Studio B.

He did not fear to debate, O brave Sir William!

He was not at all afraid to be humbled in nasty ways,

Brave, brave, brave, brave O’Reilly!

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,

Or to have his lies exposed and his logic broken;

To have his infinitives split, and his assertions blown away;

And his facts all hacked and mangled, brave Sir William!

His case smashed in and its heart cut out

And his proofs disproved, his polemic unplugged

And his talking points raped, and his claims disembowled

And his [what one can only assume is a very small] penis….

Brave Sir William ran away.

He bravely ran away, away!

When danger reared its ugly head,

He bravely turned his tail and fled.

Yes, brave Sir Bill, he turned about

And gallantly he chickened out.

Bravely taking to his feet

He beat a very brave retreat,

Bravest of the brave, O’Reilly!