Safe riding

From the Onion:Your choice of reading material for the bus is very important. Displaying Harry Potter books could get you mugged, but no one f—- with a guy reading “Surviving The Imminent Nuclear Holocaust.”

Not that I’m a survivalist or anything, but this does remind me of a conversation with Big Chilly one afternoon many moons ago in the Digital Ghetto. Now, keep in mind that while we did have some storage space in the house, it was entirely occupied by the Mad Scientist’s extensive botany project. Big Chilly came into my room – which was essentially lined with bookshelves packed double and triple deep – and asked if I still had that old .38 revolver that my Dad had given me when I was a kid.

I was sitting on my bed, so I said yeah, reached over to my left, tipped three paperbacks forward, unloaded the cylinder and handed it to him. He looked at me a little strangely, then asked if I kept my Glock handy too. I reached over to my right, tipped two hardcovers forward and pulled out the Glock. At that point, he glanced up at the ceiling fan and asked suspiciously: “If I put my hand up there, what will I find? And where’s the SKS and the AR-15, anyway? You can’t tell me you’ve got them in a bookcase.”

“Dude, look under the bed.”