To each according to his needs

Jay Nordlinger writes: Speaking of love and marriage, let me leave you with this: A reader of this column, reacting to an item about the gay-marriage debate, wrote, “If marriage is a civil right, can I sue the government to appoint me a spouse?”

Why stop there? If sex is a civil right, then where are our government-funded prossies? Do we not have a right to happiness? And since upholding well-being is the primary purpose of liberal government – who could argue in this day and age that one could possibly be well without sex – if the Federal government can spend billions on Iraqis, they can surely find the wherewithal to provide regular sexual acrobatics to all healthy adults.

I think I just solved our unemployment problem too. Actually, I’m a little surprised that no one has run on the guaranteed sex for all platform yet. It isn’t much dumber than LBJ’s free money for all idea, and it promises a lot more fun even if it fails. Why mess around with bread and circuses when you can offer pizza and prostitutes?