Tag: women

I have a great deal of respect for Roissy’s analysis of the female psyche. Even the mere terms he applies, in addition to being hilarious, provide tremendous insight for the average, clueless man who finds himself bewildered by the behavior of women around him. After all, what man could possibly assign much importance to the logical conclusions of a woman’s “rationalization hamster”. And many of the techniques he recommends will significantly increase the average man’s ability to get off on the right foot with women regardless of whether a casual encounter or marriage is the goal.

However, it must be kept in mind that Roissy’s social construction of Game is intentionally limited in two ways. The overly simplistic division of men into Alphas and Betas is the natural result of his laser-like focus on scoring vs not scoring. Either you score or you don’t score; scoring is Alpha and not-scoring is Beta. QED. And this singular, binary focus also leaves out the many other applications of the male social hierarchy that have nothing to do with women, much less sex. Note that this is not a criticism of Roissy’s construct or his conclusions, but rather a tangential expansion of it. Whereas in Game there are only Alphas who score and Betas who don’t, except for the Betas who learn the secret of becoming synthetic Alphas, I have come over time to view things in the following manner:

Alphas – the male elite, the leaders of men for whom women naturally lust. Their mere presence sets women a-tingle regardless of whether she is taken or not. Once you’ve seen beautiful married women ignoring tall, handsome, wealthy, and even famous men because that ugly old troll Henry Kissinger walked in the room, you simply can’t deny the reality of Alphadom. Example: Captain Kirk, Big from Sex in the City. Suggestion: Do you see a scoreboard? Right, so relax already!

Betas – the lieutenants, the petty aristocracy. They’re popular, they do well with women, they’re pretty successful in life, and they may even be exceptionally good-looking. But they lack the Alpha’s natural self-confidence and strength of character. They’re not leaders and they’re not the men to whom women are helplessly drawn. Most men who like to think they’re Alphas because of their success are actually Betas. Most Betas won’t change their game because they don’t really have any need or reason to do so. This is probably the easiest social slot in which to find yourself, since the Beta enjoys many of the benefits of Alphadom without being trapped in the Alpha’s endless cycle of competition. Example: Brad Pitt Suggestion: Have some compassion for the less naturally fortunate. Try to include them once in awhile.

Deltas – the great majority of men. These are Roissy’s Betas. Almost all of you reading this are Deltas despite the natural desire to believe that you are a brave and bold Alpha snowflake notwithstanding. Deal with it. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a Delta, it’s just a simple statistical and observable reality. The sooner you accept the truth about yourself, the sooner you will be able to control your unconscious inclinations and modify your behavior in a manner that will help you achieve your goals. I’ve gone out of alphabetical order here because delta symbolizes change, which most Deltas are capable to some extent. Hence the synthetic alpha instruction set known as Game. Example: Probably you. Suggestion: Never forget that there are plenty of girls on the girl tree.

Gammas – the obsequious ones, the posterior puckerers, the nice guys who attempt to score through white-knighting, faux-chivalry, flattery, and omnipresence. All men except true Alphas will occasionally fall into Gamma behavior from time to time, this is the behavior and attitude that Roissy is attempting to teach men to recognize and avoid. The dividing line between a Gamma and a Delta is that the Gamma genuinely believes in the Gamma reality to the very core of his soul whereas the Delta is never truly comfortable with himself when he behaves in this manner despite being thoroughly indoctrinated in it by his culture. Example: Probably you if you’ve found yourself complaining about your lack of female companionship over the last two years. Suggestion: Remember that the statement “all are fallen” applies to women too. She isn’t any more naturally pure or holy or ethereal than you are.

Lambdas – the gays. They have their own social hierarchy. They can fill any role from Alpha to Omega, but they tend to play the part rather than actually be it because the heterosexual social construct only encompasses the public part of their lives. Example: Neil Patrick Harris. Suggestion: Straights will be more tolerant if you keep the bathhouse behavior behind closed doors.

Sigmas – the lone wolves. Occasionally mistaken for Alphas, particularly by women and Alphas, they are not leaders and will actively resist the attempt of others to draft them. Alphas instinctively view them as challenges and either dislike or warily respect them. Some Deltas and most Omegas fancy themselves Sigmas, but the true Sigma’s withdrawal from the pack is not a reaction to the way he is treated, it is pure instinct. Example: Clint Eastwood’s movie persona. Suggestion: Entertain the possibility that other people are not always Hell. The banal idiocy is incidental, it’s not intentional torture.

Omegas – the losers. Even the Gamma males despise them. That which doesn’t kill them can make them stronger, but most never surmount the desperate need to belong caused by their social rejection. Omegas can be the most dangerous of men because the pain of their constant rejection renders the suffering of others completely meaningless in their eyes. Omegas tend to cluster in defensive groups; the dividing line between the Omega and the Sigma is twofold and can be easily recognized by a) the behavior of male Betas and Deltas and b) the behavior of women. Women tend to find outliers attractive in general, but while they respond to Sigmas almost as strongly as they do to Alphas, they correctly find Omega males creepier and much scarier than Gamma males. Example: Eric Harris Suggestion: Your rejection isn’t entirely personal. Observe the difference in your own behavior and the way the Betas act. And try not to start off conversations with women by sharing “interesting facts” with them.

I’m not claiming that this hierarchy is science or incontrovertible fact, it’s merely the lens through which I tend to view the current sexual-social hierarchy. I think it is a little more broadly useful from a theoretical perspective than the Game construct, even if it is less immediately applicable from a tactical point of view.

Retha wonders how a Christian woman can appeal to men:

I find the comments interesting. I am a Christian woman in my mid thirties. When I was young, I did not look out for a man – was too busy doing ministry work in my spare time to look for boyfriends. For that reason or some other reason, men did not approach me for dating/ courtship either. My attitude about marriage was “If we can serve God together, I may consider marrying some day. Otherwise – no way.”

I now realize that I actually want to marry and have kids, but I don’t even know how to meet men. I want to ask the Christian men here: What- except effort with my looks- can I do to be at all the kind of woman that a man who love God will want to marry?

One thing that Christian women often fail to understand is that a single-minded devotion to Jesus will drive away most men almost as effectively as a feminist woman’s narcissistic devotion to her education and career. This is true of Christian and non-Christian men alike. It’s not that men don’t respect your devotion, it’s just that they tend to consider you off the market as a sort of Protestant equivalent of a nun. You’re basically telling them that they will never be as important to you as they would be to pretty much any other woman, so it should come as little surprise that they tend to pursue those other women in preference to you.

After all, what sort of man wants to build a life with a woman who makes it unmistakably clear that his wife’s priority will always be others, not her marriage? I suppose it’s possible that you might theoretically meet a man who puts the same emphasis on ministry to others that you do, but if you consider how many men go seriously into ministry, it’s pretty clear that the odds are stacked against you. It’s about as realistic as the girl with the MBA who will only consider marrying a CEO. The fact is that there just aren’t very many of them.

So, what can you do. First, you can’t simply wave off the looks aspect. That’s the single most important element of a woman’s attractiveness to men, not so much where you rate on the 1-10 scale, but rather what sort of signals you are using your appearance to send. Most women make it very clear that they dress to please other women, not men, so if you do the opposite you will definitely stand out. I’m not talking about “going to a nightclub on Miami Beach” clothing, as much as I personally like that style, but rather wearing your hair long and down, wearing clothes that flatter most of whatever assets you happen to have, ignoring whatever the latest styles are, and paying far more attention to what the men around you happen to think looks good on you than you do to what your female friends tell you. Unless you’re trying to attract a woman, don’t dress in order to please them and their neurotic insecurities.

On the behavioral side, try to be aware of the presence of men in your vicinity. Don’t huddle with other women in public places like a herd of musk oxen trying to defend themselves; if you’re with a group of women, sit a bit back from them and scan the crowd occasionally to see who is checking out your group. Don’t look away from men who look at you. If a man is looking at you and you want to give him a shot, meet his eyes directly and smile. If he’s interested, he’ll approach you, if he’s not, he’ll smile politely, nod, and turn away. If he looks away quickly, he’s probably a gamma and may or may not approach you; if he does he’ll do so in a shy, hesitant, and overly polite manner that will make you want to kick him. Regardless, you’ve given the “all clear” signal, that’s all you really have to do. Be friendly and straightforward, and don’t be afraid to talk about your faith. If nothing else, it will protect you from all the players.

As for meeting men, I strongly suggest taking up a hobby or two that is male dominated. You’ll meet lots of men at martial arts studios, gaming stores, sports bars on game nights, car shows, and the free weight room. Set aside one evening a week to adventure into alien territory and you’ll meet more new men in a month than you have in the last year. I’ve never quite understood how people try to meet the opposite sex in places that the opposite sex never goes. If you’re hunting ducks, you don’t go to the desert, after all.

Now, you are who you are. You’re not going to change that now. But if you present yourself in an attractive and open manner, refuse to let yourself be a bitch or a wallflower, and content yourself with men who are in your physical and social league, you should be able to find what you are seeking. The Bible even says “seek and ye shall find”, so the question you have to ask yourself is if you have really been seeking or not.

In which we are amused by feminist complaints about t-shirts expressing improper thoughts of which Women Do Not Approve:

The woman in the ‘Annie Hollywood’ t-shirt (produced by ‘Blood Is The New Black’) looks as though she has been roughed up. She appears disheveled and exhausted, her image reminiscent of a crime scenes photo. The other two women have a strip across their eyes, suggesting a loss of identity and dehumanisation. Their semi-naked bodies are pimped through a t-shirt.

The designs are not iconic. They’re not retro (even if adapting a Roxy Music album cover). They’re not art. What we are seeing here is the glamourising of abuse, the suggestion of sexual aggression, a hint that women want to be treated roughly.

Somehow, I seem to have ended up on an Australian feminist mailing list… I can only suspect Jamie. But the best part about the email was the comment that accompanied the link: “This is really appalling and deserves attention. Could they even be charged with inciting violence? I’d be interested in a legal opinion.”

You can always trust a woman to attempt criminalizing opinions with which she disagrees. No, you insanely cretinous would-be fascist, those t-shirt makers cannot reasonably “be charged with inciting violence” anymore than the makers of t-shirts featuring Che Guevara and Mao Tse-tung can. And what did you expect the male reaction would be to the feminist attempt to transform every form of sex that falls short of explicit written consent confirmed by ex post facto notarization by a third party into rape anyway? If rape has become a joke to men; it is only because women, specifically feminist women, have made it so. For example, it would take a heart of stone not to find vast amusement in Amynda’s tale of her terrifying “near-rape” experience that involved neither rape nor actual sex.

It is simply absurd to pretend that no doesn’t often mean yes. There is an abundance of evidence proving otherwise. And there’s a word for men who take women at their collective word with regards to matters of sex, romance, and love. The word is “lonely”. Or, if you prefer, “loser”. Women aren’t particularly attracted to nice men who treat them well, they’re primarily attracted to bastards who don’t give a damn about them, who simply want to nail them and nail them hard.

I don’t agree with everything that Roissy and the players write about Game; I find their interpretation to be a synthetic and subject-limited form of Alpha. But Roissy is nevertheless dead-on correct with regards to what pushes the average woman’s buttons.* This, of course, is exactly why a man wearing an “offensive” Roger David t-shirt is much more likely to score than a man wearing a female-approved Take Back the Night one.

And if you don’t find the tagline “Blood is the New Black” funny, well, there’s clearly something wrong with you.

* NB: On behalf of women who don’t understand the concept of “average”: yes, we already know and acknowledge that there are women who belong to the statistical minority. The group in which you personally happen to fall is totally irrelevant to the topic at hand.

Science proves that the average woman quits trying to stay in shape once she get married:

It is widely known that women tend to gain weight after giving birth, but now a large study has found evidence that even among childless women, those who live with a mate put on more pounds than those who live without one. The differences, the scientists found, were stark. After adjusting for other variables, the 10-year weight gain for an average 140-pound woman was 20 pounds if she had a baby and a partner, 15 if she had a partner but no baby, and only 11 pounds if she was childless with no partner…. There is no reason to believe that having a partner causes metabolic changes, so the weight gain among childless women with partners was almost surely caused by altered behavior.

A recent British survey showed similar conclusions, as 22 percent of new brides put on an average of 21 pounds in their first year of marriage. Which shouldn’t be surprising, given that “More than half said they no longer worried about their appearance and weight after their big day.”

Basically, if you’re not marrying a gym bunny, there’s a pretty good chance she’s going to pork on you the moment she gets that ring. On the other hand, if you see a slender, attractive woman over the age of 30 with a child at the beach in Europe, you can be almost certain that she has between two and four more. For some reason, the chubbos tend to have only one child, occasionally two, while the slender ones average four. But I have no idea whether this is the result of being disciplined, being too busy to sit around and eat, or some combination of the two. Regardless, I’m sure some evolutionary enthusiast can concoct a fairy tale to explain it.

A perusal of the basic Rules set quickly shows why women who rely upon them to secure a man and/or marriage are likely going to fail. As is often seen in social networking profiles and advice columns, women usually think that what works with women must also work with men. This is not true. Consider:

Rule 1: Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other”

Given that Playboy has spent five decades proving the near-universal male predilection for a slender, pretty, large-breasted, blue-eyed blonde, this rule is obviously insane. In fact, most men have distinct preferences that anyone who knows them well can easily identify. One of my college roommates always tended to date short, hippy women with long, dark, naturally curly hair named Mary. Unsurprisingly, he ended up marrying a tall, hippy woman with long, dark, naturally curly hair named Mary. Women are naturally attracted to outliers for the sheer sake of their novelty. Men aren’t.

Rule 2: Show Up to Parties, Dances, and Social Events Even if You Do Not Feel Like It.

This makes sense, but you probably shouldn’t bother if you’re just going to be a tiresome bitch. Unless it’s a Goth party, then feel free to mope and whine all you like, Lady Dolorous.

Rule 3: Don’t Stare at Men or Talk Too Much

The first part is completely wrong, the second part is completely right. Staring at a man is the primary way a woman lets him know she wants to be approached. On the other hand, about 90 percent of what women like to talk about is considered by heterosexual men to be inconsequential babble, so the less a woman expresses her opinion, the better. On the other hand, intelligent, topical, and unopinionated speech will win respect simply because it is so rarely heard. It may be useful to know that when men imitate women for other men, they often do it by beginning a sentence “Well I think….” in a high-pitched, clueless voice.

Rule 4: Don’t Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date

Establishing an unwillingness to compromise right from the start is a very effective way of convincing intelligent men that you’re going to be a major pain in the posterior and convincing him you’re more trouble than you’re worth. Very hot girls can get away with such intransigence with most men, but if you’re a Rules Girl, then you are obviously not a very hot girl or you wouldn’t think you needed them. As for paying for the date, it depends. If he asked you out, then he should pay. But keep in mind that the “who pays” question is not anywhere nearly as big a deal to men as women seem to think. Consider the contrast between the way groups of men and women approach paying the bill at a restaurant. Men take half a minute to throw in a roughly equal amount and include a healthy tip, while women spend half an hour itemizing who ordered what, then stiff the wait staff. The salient point is that men seldom give a damn one way or another.

Rule 5: Don’t Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls

That’s fine. He’ll be busy having sex with the woman who calls him at 11 PM to see if he happens to be free at the moment and you’re just another haughty bitch who can’t be bothered to call him back anyway. This is easily the worst Rule, as it is designed to ensure that the only men who will continue to call you are terminally obsessed stalkers.

Rule 6: Always End Phone Calls First

This Rule is fine, because there isn’t a single man on the planet who keeps track of who hung up first. Besides, he’s either reading his emails, surfing the Internet, or playing video games while you’re rambling on and on about who said what to whom anyhow.

Rule 7: Don’t Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday

I have no idea what the point of this is supposed to be. But it is correct insofar as it is always a horrendous mistake to attempt leaving your options open instead of simply accepting or rejecting a weekend date during the week. It’s really not that hard for men to tell that you’re looking for something better but are willing to use them as a fall-back option in case nothing more interesting comes along in the next few days. This puts you squarely in the “bitch who merits being treated as badly as I want” category in most men’s books.

Rule 8: Close the Deal – Do not date a man for more than two years.

Okay, this is actually a good one, although I’d cut it down to 12 months since it’s usually possible to at least see where things are going after a year. If a man doesn’t show any sign of being interested in marrying you within a year, he’s probably not going to want to marry you unless nothing better happens to come along in whatever his long-term time frame happens to be. And if he tends to groan, roll his eyes, or smoothly change the subject whenever the topic of marriage is broached, he simply isn’t the marrying kind and the sooner you move on, the better. Remember, most men have very, very good reasons to avoid marriage under the present legal regime and a refusal to take the risk is a sign of intelligence, not personality flaws.

Rule 9: Buyer Beware – Observe his behavior so you do not end up with Mr. Wrong

This is sensible. No objections. Of course, keep in mind that if he has half a brain, he’ll be doing the same.

Rule 10: Keep doing The Rules even when things are slow

Alternatively, one could consider applying that pesky male logic and correctly conclude that things are slow BECAUSE of The Rules. Now, here are some alternative guidelines – not rules – that are far more likely to produce positive results.

1. If you find a man attractive, smile at him and meet his eyes. If he returns the smile, he is attracted and will approach you if he is interested. Don’t be bothered if he smiles but does not approach, this usually signifies that he is either polite but uninterested or is not interested even though he finds you attractive. This lack of interest may be for a very good reason, such as marriage and children, so just let it go and find someone else at whom you can smile.

2. Don’t play stupid games. Men are goal-oriented and while some may enjoy the chase, that’s really not the point. The reason men ditch women after scoring them isn’t because the chase was too short but because they’ve achieved their objective and are now making the logical next step of pursuing a new one. Prolonging the chase isn’t likely to alter the ultimate result once the objective is attained, however long that takes.

3. Learn to distinguish between a man who genuinely seeks a companion and a man who simply wants to have a good time. If you are seeking the former sort, then waste absolutely no time on the latter type.

4. Men don’t love drama. We don’t watch it, we don’t read it, we don’t play it, and we certainly don’t want to live it. The less you can create, the better. If you crave excitement, go jump out of an airplane or find a way to test your skills against others. It works fine for us.

5. Bad boys play hard and they leave their mark. You might not think your emotional scars show, but they do and they are seldom flattering. Also, it’s difficult to “make the most of your youth” with the bad boys for five or ten years and then be happy settling for a nice, respectable beta provider.

6. Above all, don’t try to be a mother. He survived without you before so he knows he can survive just fine without you now. There are plenty of girls on the girl tree and moreover, there is nothing less sexually attractive to the psychosexually normal adult male than a woman playing Mommy. Men find it aggravating, irritating, and emasculating to have a woman attempting to order them about like a child. And note that silent toleration does not indicate acceptance.

7. If the man isn’t 30 pounds overweight, sex is always a more important priority than food. This will be true until McDonalds opens a drive-through brothel or the first Victoria’s Secret line of sexbots becomes available.

8. Never, ever, talk about anyone with whom you work. Don’t even talk about anyone he hasn’t met unless it’s a genuinely funny story and you are one of the rare women who are able to tell a story without stopping in the middle and restarting, forgetting the punchline, or otherwise blowing it. To put it in perspective, men care less about your faceless coworkers, family, and friends than you do about the Tuck Rule or the Bling Pro perk. And yes, I know you don’t know what they are… how much do you care about them? Exactly….