#Arkhaven INFOGALACTIC #Castalia House
85 Moundsview Meerkats
75 Bane Sidhe
102 Bailout Banksters
64 Suburban Churchians
79 D.C. Hangmen
42 Greenfield Grizzlies
77 RR Redbeards
75 Luna City Gamma Rays
66 Fromundah Cheezheads
61 ’63Mercury Marauders
Fromundah narrowly escapes to preserve their undefeated record, but three teams, including the much-feared Meerkats, are chasing after them from two games behind.
About five years ago, I had to stop playing soccer. I’d re-aggravated an old leg injury and while I could run without trouble, I couldn’t kick the ball with any force with my better foot. Two years ago, I was invited to join another veterans team, one that competed at a lower level than the Elite Promoted team with whom I’d been playing, (and with whom there was no way I would be able to play for after so much time away from the game), and since I thought I could use the exercise, I thought I’d give it a try.
It went pretty well, as we won the league championship both years, and I was able to contribute six goals to the effort last year despite being the fifth option at striker. Like most veterans teams, we were injury-plagued and so I ended up starting a few games last year. This year, we began the season in such collectively bad condition that I’ve been starting most of the games, and indeed, have even had to play entire games without being substituted. I’m not the worst player on the team, but I’m easily and unquestionably the least technically-skilled of the starters. But, if nothing else, it’s really an excellent workout.
However, I’ve finally understood the nature of my role on the team – about which more another time, as it’s a lesson in teamwork – so the coach has decided that I’m the ideal complement for the best striker and usually starts me in preference to two of our better strikers even when they are available. That’s because I am the only one fast enough to keep pace with S, the aforementioned striker, and can therefore prevent the defense from committing two or even three defenders to him when we’re attacking. We don’t need me to score in order to win, only to make enough runs and create enough dangerous opportunities to make the defense nervous and give S room to work. In an ideal game, I get two or three shots, S scores three goals, our midfielders add two more, and we win 5-2 or thereabouts.
I knew the guys were a bit nervous this weekend, though, since our number 10 told me that I would have to score two goals if we were going to win. The problem was that as good as our attack is, the other team’s is better. They were ahead of us in the league table and had scored almost twice as many goals as us thanks to their star player, a retired professional named D. We simply couldn’t count on S scoring enough to keep pace with him.
We got off to a really good start, however, when about five minutes into the game, I broke for the center and our left wing sent a cross towards me. It was too low to head, too high to kick, and I had a defender right on me so I couldn’t try to control it either. So, I concentrated on getting my right knee up as high as I could, and managed to redirect the ball past the keeper from just inside the box. It wasn’t perfectly placed or anything, but the cross was whipping across so fast that he never had a chance at blocking the deflection. 1-0.
It was a good goal, maybe even mildly impressive, but it was the sort of instinctive goal I still score from time to time. I was very pleased, of course, but we didn’t get too carried away since we knew they could score too and D was proving to be an absolute freaking handful for our midfielders and defenders. He didn’t really play a proper position, he just sort of roamed free and created havoc anywhere he wanted despite our attempts to double- and triple-team him every time he touched the ball. Our number 10 set me up with a nice pass, but I blew the pass to S when I should have probably just run in straight on the right side of goal. Still, we were keeping up the pressure when D went past three of our guys before being knocked off the ball… and our last defender whiffed on the clearance. Their other striker pounced on his miss and put a hard, low shot into the corner that our goalie couldn’t possibly stop. 1-1.
We were dominating possession, though, and before too long, S drew a free kick just outside the box, then whipped the kick over the wall and into the upper right corner. I don’t think the keeper even saw it until it was too late. 2-1.
It was just before halftime when the left wing tried the same cross with which we’d scored earlier, only he hit it too hard. It not only went over my head, and my marker’s head, but also beyond the left defender. I realized the ball was going high early and had already cut right before it passed overhead, so I managed to get to it first, about halfway between right corner of the box and the sideline. I knew S, the number 10, and the left wing were all breaking to the middle, so without slowing down, I leaped, twisted my body and hit it as hard as I could with my right foot without looking. That spun me in a circle, which stopped just in time for me to see the ball fly right into the very upper left corner of the net. 3-1.
It was as ludicrous as it was spectacular. You just don’t see many goals like that, not even in a league where there is enough skill that guys not infrequently score from 35 yards out. Our defensive captain, who gets frustrated with me on pretty much a weekly basis, (and for good reason), actually got down on one knee and kissed my shoe as if it were the Pope’s ring. The goal completely demoralized the other team.
In the second half, we missed a penalty, but lanes started opening up, their defense mostly stopped trying to run with us, and if it weren’t for some poor touches and foolish offsides, we would have added more than the one additional goal scored by S. The game finished 4-1, and when I complimented D afterwards for being such an incredibly massive pain in our collective posterior, he was kind enough to say that he was pretty impressed with my second goal himself.
Right after the game, about six of my teammates surrounded me and demanded to know if I had been actually trying to take such an improbable shot, or if it was merely an attempt to cross gone fortunately awry. I told them the truth, which was that I was only trying to send the ball in S’s general direction, so it must have been “la grazia di Dio” that put it in the net. That made them all laugh, and one midfielder, a skilled player who has a keen sense of my technical limitations, commented that as far as he was concerned, it was definitive proof of the existence of God.
There have been a handful of games I can still clearly remember throughout the course of my soccer-playing career. A 13-0 demolition of Breck in junior high. Beating the Lagos brothers for the conference championship in high school, then downing our archrivals in the first round of the state championship. This game will most definitely be one of them.
115 Moundsview Meerkats (3-2)
62 Suburban Churchians (0-5)
90 Fromundah Cheezheads (5-0)
67 Bane Sidhe (3-2)
82 Luna City Gamma Rays (2-3)
37 ’63Mercury Marauders (4-1)
60 Greenfield Grizzlies (3-2)
44 RR Redbeards (1-4)
54 D.C. Hangmen (1-4)
52 Bailout Banksters (3-2)
The second Toyota Blowout of the Week for the Meerkats in a row kept the Churchians winless, while the Hangmen got their first win of the season against the Banksters. Dare we hope this is an omen for society at large? Fromundah still looks dominant, however, staying undefeated as the Marauders fell from perfection in a big way, putting up only 37 points on the week.
This is, as always, the open NFL thread.
104 Moundsview Meerkats (2-2)
59 D.C. Hangmen (0-4)
94 Greenfield Grizzlies (2-2)
79 Luna City Gamma Rays (1-3)
95 Fromundah Cheezheads (4-0)
55 Suburban Churchians (0-4)
82 Bailout Banksters (3-1)
58 RR Redbeards (1-3)
77 ’63Mercury Marauders (4-0)
59 Bane Sidhe (3-1)
This is your weekly open NFL thread
100 Fromundah Cheezheads (3-0)
67 D.C. Hangmen (0-3)
89 ’63Mercury Marauders (3-0)
52 Suburban Churchians (0-3)
68 Bane Sidhe (3-0)
45 Luna City Gamma Rays (1-2)
66 Bailout Banksters (2-1)
33 Greenfield Grizzlies (1-2)
56 RR Redbeards (1-2)
52 Moundsview Meerkats (1-2)
This is your weekly open NFL thread
84 Bailout Banksters (1-1)
47 Luna City Gamma Rays (1-1)
83 Greenfield Grizzlies (1-1)
77 Moundsview Meerkats (1-1)
76 ’63Mercury Marauders (2-0)
36 D.C. Hangmen (0-2)
74 Fromundah Cheezheads (2-0)
43 RR Redbeards (0-2)
60 Bane Sidhe (2-0)
58 Suburban Churchians (0-2)
The Piranha of the Serengeti got off to a good start last week, but the injury to Aaron Hernandez and a disappointing underperformance by Aaron Rodgers sunk them. I’m benching Rodgers this week, as I have less confidence in him against a pretty solid Seahawks defense than in Alex Smith against yet another sketchy Vikings secondary.
This is your weekly NFL thread. As far as the NFL goes, it is increasingly apparent that the CJ vs AD question has been settled in favor of the latter. It’s not the Seahawks, but the Cardinals who have proved to be surprisingly good, and it will be interesting to determine which NFC Central team is worse, the Bears or the Vikings. As for the Vikings, all we’ve learned is that Frazier is as overly conservative as Childress ever was. Running the Woody Hayes offense for the first 50 minutes, then taking the training wheels off Christian Ponder for the last ten minutes is not the path to the playoffs.
That may have worked well if AD was 100 percent and running behind the offensive line of four years ago. But he’s not and he isn’t.
This would be your weekly open NFL thread.
67 Moundsview Meerkats (1-0)
65 Bailout Banksters (0-1)
97 Fromundah Cheezheads(1-0)
73 Greenfield Grizzlies (0-1)
70 ’63Mercury Marauders(1-0)
57 RR Redbeards (0-1)
52 Bane Sidhe(1-0)
48 D.C. Hangmen (0-1)
98 Luna City Gamma Rays (1-0)
71 Suburban Churchians (0-1)
Some minor revenge for last year’s championship game isn’t particularly satisfying, but at least the Meerkats are off to a decent start.
Sean – (Cranberry Rhyneaux)
Gapeseed – (Grover Beach Quixotes)
I’ll need to get an email from Sean and Gapeseed by the end of the day if they want to play this year. Otherwise, we’ll have two more spots open in the VPFL.
I tend to agree with those who believe that you can learn a lot about a man’s character from how he plays sports. In that vein, Tucker Max’s recollection of playing basketball with a mid-30s Barack Obama at the University of Chicago is informative indeed:
“I do remember that he had a good understanding of the game. He knew when to backdoor cut, how to pick and roll, when to take his man away so you could drive, how to block out for rebounds, etc. And he would hit open jumpshots if left alone. He was not some doofus out there trying to get exercise. He understood the basics of basketball very well, which is better than most people who play pick-up. Just this knowledge of the game made him fun to play with.”
“But the thing is, even though he knew the basics and could execute them, his performance wasn’t anything beyond that. He didn’t have what basketball players call ‘old man game.’ Old guys who have that know every trick, use every advantage, and kill your youth and quickness with their guile and strength. That wasn’t Barack. He would beat you if given space, but if you played even half decent defense on him, you could take him out of the game.”
“He played point guard a lot, but I don’t remember him as a dominant court leader, controlling the flow of the game…. Weirdest thing about him — I always thought he would be better than he was. I mean, here was this guy, in good shape, relatively young (mid 30s at the time, I think) clearly likes and knows the game, and is black (so there’s the quasi-racist assumption that he’s good at basketball)… but he was never that great. Even after I knew the limits of his game, I always half-expected one day he would just decide to turn it on and light everyone up, but it never happened. He had everything that you’d think would make him great, and he definitely looked the part, but he never really turned that look into serious production in an actual game. I saw so many people pick him first, and then get burned because he didn’t play up to that pick.
This very much jibes with my perspective on Obama, which is that he is not a competitor and is naturally disengaged. That’s why I expected him to step down after his first term and why I don’t expect him to put in much of an effort in competing against Romney this fall. It’s also why I never put any credence in those who worried, needlessly, in my opinion, about Obama the Would-be Socialist Dictator cancelling the elections and ruling with an iron fist.
He simply doesn’t have it in him to try that hard. He doesn’t see the point of working that hard. This is a pattern that goes back to his high school days in Hawaii and can be seen in his graduate career at Harvard Law, his faux-literary career, and his political career. If someone is going to open the door for him, he’ll certainly bother to stroll through it, but he’s not interested in pushing on the door himself.
I’ve played against a lot of half-hearted competitors like this in a wide variety of sports. The one thing they all do is hang their heads and give up once the tide begins to turn against them. I suspect one reason the Democrats running his campaign already appear to be in panic mode prior to the Republican convention is because they know that if Romney gets a serious convention bounce and starts running ahead of Obama in the polls, Obama is going to quit on the campaign, quite possibly in literal fashion.
Already, he seems to be doing little more than going through the minimal motions necessary. When was his last major speech, his last big press conference? As for the potential for rumored October surprises, particularly from the Fed, ask yourself this question: why would Ben Bernanke prefer a lukewarm banker’s ally like Barack Obama to an enthusiastic quasi-banker like Mitt Romney?
UPDATE: Steve Sailer puts in a lot more work to reach a similar conclusion: My last word: it’s easy to overthink Obama. Don’t overlook the largest element in his make-up—the “apathetic quasi-intellectual sports fan.”