Let’s get a few things straight

These are not directed at any one individual, they are merely things I have repeatedly observed in the last few months that I would prefer not to continue observing with such regularity.

  1. Have I seen X?  Yes.  Especially if it’s a story referenced by Instapundit, Drudge, or any other major Internet news aggregator.  So has nearly every other English-speaking individual on the planet with an Internet connection. Since you now know the answer, don’t ask me that, and especially don’t ask me that in the comment thread of a post that has nothing to do with the topic.  If you want to email me a link to something you think I, or the readers of this blog, will find interesting, I appreciate that.  If you want to ask me a serious question, that’s fine too.  But, as a general rule, please assume that unless you are reading an obscure foreign language site, the chances are good that I have seen it.
  2. “Damn autocorrect!”  First, please understand that you’re not fooling anyone.  You probably just committed a typo, everyone does it, and no one is assuming that you are an idiot who really believes the correct spelling of “thinks” is “htinks”.  Second, please also understand that autocorrect is designed to complete words on the basis of what has been initially entered into it.  Many of the misspellings I’ve seen blamed on autocorrect cannot possibly be the result of software autocorrection.  So, instead of looking like someone who doesn’t look at their comments before hitting publish, you look like a liar determined to insult every technologically competent reader’s intelligence.  And third, please understand that confessing to being an idiot who doesn’t know how to turn autocorrect off doesn’t make you look smarter than someone who occasionally misspells words.
  3. http://istilldontknowhowtomakelinks.com.  It’s 2013.  Learn how to make a freaking link to a URL already.  If you can’t figure out how to do it, then what are the chances that anyone is interested in what appeals to your tiny little barely-functioning brain?
  4. “klsadjfkjie should have been klasadjfkjie”.  Look, no one really cares if you know how to spell or not, unless you raise it to the level of Nate before he caught religion.  Cnsdrng tht th hmn mnd cn rd whn th vwls r mssng, mst ppl cn rd wht ws wrttn.  The occasionally misspelled or omitted word in a comment is much less annoying than the semi-inevitable comment explaining the error which immediately follows.  If you care about this sort of thing, great, then read your comment once BEFORE posting it.  
  5. The increased appearance of the word “dipshit”.  Let’s leave that to the finely honed minds of McRapey and his favorite librarian.  It sounded retarded back in eighth grade.  It sounds downright extrachromosomal now.

I’m not about to start getting on anyone’s case about these minor issues. They’re not a big deal. I just thought that those of you who are not intentionally trying to irritate others might like to consider avoiding them in the future.

That is NOT a smoking gun

It is a new, hyper-efficient form of communication designed around the noble Native American tradition of conveying messages via smoke signals. It is merely shaped like a gun due to convergent design evolution:

“It appears as though many loans and other mortgage-related assets have been double and even triple-pledged to various constituencies.”
– Bank of America, U.S. Bankruptcy Court, Jacksonville, CASE NO. 3:09-bk-07047-JAF

What Washington fails to understand is that double and even triple-pledging home loans made them more secure for the homebuyer. That’s what mortage securitization was all about from the start! Read a dictionary! Bank of America not only stands by its word and its commitment to the law and all the responsible homebuyers in this great nation of ours, it stands by it two and even three times!

On a completely unrelated note, my official Sponsored Post rate has increased to €23 million.