I’m not a golfer. I’ve never golfed. I don’t care about golf. I lived a few minutes from Sawgrass and I still didn’t play golf. But I do have two firm opinions about golf:
- Golf is not a sport. It is a game.
- Golf is a degenerate game for gamblers and liars.
The concept of the “gimme putt” that golfers use to suppress their scores is so unbelievably lame. That alone demonstrates it’s not a real sport.
Two weeks ago, we had a game where one of our players headed in a corner, a defender desperately kicked it off the line, it hit the crossbar at an angle so it bounced out. Infuriating, since it cost us two points and the win over the defending champions at their place, but a phenomenal defensive play. Since none of us are golfers, we didn’t claim it as a goal, even though it was a lot closer than the average putt that golfers claim as a gimme. Which, of course, should count as an additional stroke anyhow!
Any golfer who claims a “gimme putt” should be beaten about the head with drivers and sent home immediately. Did it go in? No? THEN IT DIDN’T GO IN!
I always knew it was a stupid fake sport.