If anyone ever asks you why Sports Illustrated ceased to be, this big front page article with a picture in the middle should suffice to explain it.
The Premier League’s Best (and Worst) Dressed Managers
From chic to shabby, “Grandpa tops” to “adverts for Dunhill,” former British Vogue fashion director Venetia Scott ran her expert eye over the style choices made by the division’s managers.
Okay, first, SI is not GQ. No one gives a damn about clothing unless it’s the new NFL uniforms. No one even cares about baseball, hockey, or basketball uniforms. The only college football uniform news people care about are a) Army, b) Navy, and c) Oregon.
Second, women should not write SI articles. British women should definitely not write SI articles. And no British Vogue fashion director, past or present, should not permitted within three football fields of any SI article at any time.
Third, the Premier League? Look, I know more about English football, League and non-League, than pretty much every American SI reader ever. And since I do, I know how few Americans can name more than one Premier League manager, much less give a quantum of a fraction of an airborne rodent’s backside about how any of them happen to clothe themselves.
Unless Mikel Arteta is coming out stark naked at Highbury, unless Arne Slot is walking the touchline in full leather bondage gear, unless Thomas Tuchal is going to show up for a match against Mexico in a full sombrero-and-poncho ensemble while riding a donkey, nobody cares.
I used to love reading SI. Rick Reilly, Dr. Z, even Peter King crushed it on a weekly basis. Now, it’s just sad, weird, and irrelevant.