When someone whose opinion you respect, someone that you consider to be an excellent leader, informs you that your work is crap, do you:
A. Ask him why and do what you can to improve it?
B. Tell him he’s full of fecal matter himself and demonstrate why.
C. Run around shrieking and telling everyone you know that his assertion is “outrageous” and “painful”, like “a shotgun blast to the face”.
If you answered (C), you are probably an overpaid professional woman who relies on others to keep you afloat. Consider the words of Nancy Vonk, a presumably overpaid professional woman in the ad business.
It felt like I got a shotgun blast in the face. I’ve had the experience of him being an excellent leader and very inspiring person. My head is still spinning because it was so outrageous. The upshot of what he said is that you give [women] a shot and they run off and have babies. It wasn’t in good humor. It was extremely painful the way he spoke.”
Although Vonk described French as a longtime friend and mentor, she said she was shocked by the tone of his comments. “It was one of those experiences where you can hardly absorb what you are hearing,” Vonk continued. “Nothing prepared us. Even knowing him to be a boy’s boy. I never felt that he had such extreme views.”
Yes, he’s a boy’s boy. That’s probably why he thinks your work blows. The fact that he’s an expert and presumably knows good work from bad work couldn’t possibly be the truth, could it? And while the Sisterhood is celebrating the guy’s resignation, I can just imagine what the executives at WPP are thinking. “Great, he’s going to go off, start his own business and eat our lunch while we’re stuck competing against him with Little Miss Fainting Couch and the rest of the underperforming lightweights.”
Now, is it possible that the guy is an idiot and has no idea what he’s talking about? Sure. But Vonk’s response sure doesn’t make that look very likely, nor does the fact that his departure from the company was considered significant news in the industry.
There are plenty of women who excel at their jobs. I am fortunate enough to have several such women working for me. But no one, regardless of their age, sex, educational background, sports allegiance or religious creed, should use it as an excuse for failure. And if someone says your work is crap, then it’s up to you to show me how they’re wrong.