In what is arguably the least surprising news ever, the new Labour government of Great Britain is raising taxes to historic levels.
In a massive package that left Westminster stunned, Chancellor Rachel Reeves shifted the country decisively towards a European high-tax, high spending model. The £40billion scale of the tax hikes – despite Keir Starmer previously claiming there was no need to raise revenue beyond the £8billion in the Labour manifesto – was even greater than thought. It rivals 1993’s eyewatering revenue-raiser in the wake of Black Wednesday, and takes the burden on Brits to a record 38 per cent of GDP. Insisting the country had ‘voted for change’ and it is time to ‘rebuild’, Ms Reeves vowed to ‘invest, invest, invest’.
The tax burden is actually projected to rise higher than the post-WWII levels. It’s a good thing they’ve got all those Jamaican, African, and Pakistani immigrants who we’re assured are so good for the economy, or the British people would certainly be in a pickle!
These increased taxes should mean the British people will be able to continue funding their war in Ukraine, at least as long as there are still some Ukrainians left to sacrifice to the Russian war machine. Checkmate, Putin!
UPDATE: It may be worse than we thought. It may be worse than we imagined. We may be looking at an economic Hultgreen-Curie situation here.
In her 77-minute speech, Ms Reeves said she is ‘deeply proud’ to be the first woman to be Chancellor in the 900 year history of the role, and the first woman to deliver a Budget.