The PC Master Race Does Not Mourn

The Xbox is reportedly being put down by Microsoft. To which, the PC Master Race says, in a thunderous choir of golden masculine voices, “Good.”

It’s real. Bond’s hacking Xbox to pieces. They want to move to a stadia-like platform because XB hardware hasn’t been financially viable since the One. They were told this during yesterday’s morning minutes meeting that Spencer is furious with her about this but Corporate MSFT is backing her on it. This year’s new model XB MAY be their last.

I hated the Xbox, hated its stupid Atari Jaguar-like controller, and even disliked HALO from the start. Xbox was never anything more than a crippled PC, and it did massive harm to the PC games industry just so Microsoft could attempt to exert even more direct control over the individual gamer. The total inferiority of the console approach could be seen in the way that multiplayer games had to cordon off a special zone so that the console weaklings could play by themselves without getting repeatedly obliterated by their technological superiors.

JC Denton spoke for all of us when he said: “So many games were crippled in order to run on consoles or appeal to the console multiplayer market. We PC Master Racers will gladly view the ruin of Xbox with a smile on our beautiful Aryan faces.”

The PC Master Race contemplates a glorious future without Xbox.