The End of the Involuntary Non-European

I realize this will sound improbable, if not impossible, to most, but recall when everyone thought I was crazy for forecasting the end of the European Union and the collapse of the United States. I’ve been anticipating that for several years now, although I’ve never explicitly stated it, but now I feel confident enough to state my expectations on the basis of recent developments in genetic science:

The long-dead woolly mammoth will make its return from extinction by 2027, says Colossal, the biotech company actively working to reincarnate the ancient beast. Last year, the Dallas-based firm scored an additional $60 million in funding to continue the, well, mammoth gene-editing work it started in 2021. The woolly mammoth’s DNA is a 99.6 percent match of the Asian elephant, which leads Colossal to believe it’s well on its way toward achieving its goal. “In the minds of many, this creature is gone forever,” the company says. “But not in the minds of our scientists, nor the labs of our company. We’re already in the process of the de-extinction of the Woolly Mammoth. Our teams have collected viable DNA samples and are editing the genes that will allow this wonderful megafauna to once again thunder through the Arctic.”

First of all, despite all my criticism of corrupt modern science, modern engineering is both amazing and cool. I would absolutely love to see the woolly mammoth and other great beasts of the past brought back to life.

Second, consider the implications of the DNA match between the woolly mammoth and the Asian elephant. If similar genes can be edited to turn an Asian elephant embryo into a woolly mammoth, then obviously it will not be much more difficult to turn an Asian embryo into a Nordic European.

Although obviously the genetic engineering could be, and will be, applied in a wide variety of directions, the immense size of the hair-color, contact lens, skin whitening, and plastic surgery industries make it entirely obvious which direction will be generally preferred by parents, which is to say, which way the profitable investment is going to run.

In the future, everyone will be blond-haired, blue-eyed, and beautiful. Whether they want to be or not.