European Civilization in Decline

Say what you will about the Germans, but a predilection for excessive showering has never been a problem:

Amidst discussion in the country of a potential total energy embargo on Russia, articles about the supposed health benefits of showering less have begun to pop up.

In an article titled ‘‘It’s enough to wash THESE four body parts – Why the skin cleans itself if you let it’, Germany’s Bild newspaper cites advice by economy minister Robert Habeck, who has called on citizens to cut back on their heating, sauna visits, and showers to help the country reduce its dependence on Russian energy.

The piece claims that avoiding showers gives good bacteria a chance to propagate, helping with skin conditions and also consuming the substances responsible for body odor.

“This way, it [skin] cleans itself,” states the article, arguing dubiously that avoiding washing your body will actually make you smell better. The article quotes dermatologist Yael Adler, who claims that avoiding showers for three weeks makes, “the odors disappear and the skin begins a kind of a self-cleaning process.”

I have lived with Germans, Belgians, and French. Of the three, the Germans were easily the least inclined to take showers, and without question the most odiferous. So, perhaps you will understand if I am not celebrating the news that Germans will be taking even fewer showers in the future.

I understand that many of you were dubious when I said that one of the things we are fighting for is indoor plumbing. Perhaps now you understand that my statement was not even remotely rhetorical in nature, but rather, pure logic-based dialectic.