The God-Emperor axes Mustache John Bolton:
President Donald Trump has fired National Security Adviser John Bolton after a string of disagreements between the two over how the U.S. should handle North Korea and Iran.
Trump announced on Twitter that he had asked for Bolton’s resignation, which he received this morning, after the president had “disagreed with many of his suggestions.”
“I informed John Bolton last night that his services are no longer needed at the White House. I disagreed strongly with many of his suggestions, as did others in the Administration, and therefore I asked John for his resignation, which was given to me this morning,” Trump said on Twitter.
You can probably imagine how the conversation that preceded his departure went:
Trump: How should we deal with Afghanistan?
Bolton: Send more troops! We need more troops!
Trump: Easy, ‘stache. All right, moving on. What about Iran?
Bolton: Bomb them! Bomb bomb bomb them! Then send in the troops!
Trump: How many troops do you think we will need?
Bolton: All of them! Bring back the draft. Draft the girls! And the Canadians!
Trump: I don’t think we can actually draft Canadians.
Bolton: WHY DO YOU HATE ISRAEL?
Trump: I almost dread to ask this, but do you have any thoughts concerning the trade war with China?
Bolton: All the bombs! All the troops! All the nukes! Rain fire upon the land! Blood for the Blood God!
Trump: (picks up phone) Yeah, Mike, we seem to have a little problem here…