The honorary Christian

A celebration in Colorado Springs!

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO—In a joyful ceremony, Christian leaders gathered to grant Jordan Peterson the status of honorary Christian. Though the Canadian professor has never identified as a Christian and does not attend any church, a vote was taken and the decision was made unanimously that Peterson had earned his salvation and could be drafted into heaven by popular vote.

“Most people are saved by grace,” said one of the pastors who presented the award, “Jordan Peterson isn’t most people.”

Though Peterson holds a number of highly controversial views such as that most societal problems are really complicated, men shouldn’t be deadbeats, speech should be free, and that becoming dogmatically ideological stunts intellectual and moral growth, the Christian leaders decided to overlook these grievous sins and still honor him with the award.

I still find it amazing that conservatives lionize Peterson and lambast Soros even though the two men share the same ideological perspective, possess the same messianic self-perception, and have the same long-term objectives for society.