What is racist

A helpful list of what is, and what is not, racist:

Things That Are Racist

1. Talking about Ebola (Salon)

2. Describing the Hong Kong protests as “clean and orderly” (Vox)

3. Pointing out that white people use heroin (Salon)

4. #BringBackOurGirls (Salon)

5. Describing Obama as “angry” (MSNBC)

6. The American Revolution (Salon)

7. Children’s books with white characters (Salon)

8. Criticizing the IRS (MSNBC)

9. Donating to the United Negro College Fund

10. Being half-white (Salon)

11. Supporting Herman Cain (MSNBC)

12. Opposing Obama (MSNBC)

13. Rocky III (Vox)

14. When black conservatives disagree with black liberals (Salon)

15. Noting that Obama has an Ivy League education (MSNBC)

16. Saying Obama likes to play golf (MSNBC)

17. Saying “Obamacare” (MSNBC)

18. Living in the suburbs (Salon)

19. Calling Obama “Obama” (MSNBC)

20. Criticizing liberals for constantly accusing people of racism (Salon)

21. “Tom and Jerry” cartoons

22. Cupcakes

23. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

Things That Are Not Racist

1. Suing a fertility clinic after giving birth to a mixed race child that you wish was white* (Salon)

Of course, since I am a Native American, I think we can all agree that any criticism of me is rooted in nothing but the most egregious racism.