Your album covers totally lied

And so did your porn. It turns out lesbians aren’t hot. Not even a little bit. They’re just fat.

The US government has spent nearly $3 million on a study to explore lesbian obesity. According to the Department of Health and Human Services 69 per cent of American adults over the age of 20 are classified as overweight or obese and yet 75 per cent of America’s lesbian population falls into this category compared to half of the female population.

It’s hilarious to see the shambling lesbian land whales react to the obvious conclusion:

“Lets be absolutely clear. Lesbians are not gay because they can’t get a man.
All of the lesbians I know, and I know quite a few, have had to fight off
the attentions of men frequently. Studies like this only serve to give
ammunition to this type of prejudice.”

Sure, Pete Rose, whatever you say.