Control your damn cats

An Englishman’s home is not subject to invasion by felines intent on avicide:

An Oxford University educated research chemist has issued his cat-owning
neighbours with leaflets warning them of “drastic action” if they
continue to let their animals roam free and kill the birds in his garden.
Neighbours living in the street said they are concerned for their cats’ safety and have been upset by the leaflet.

“In the last week alone, cats have killed a jackdaw, a blackbird and a house sparrow,” said Dr Mowforth. “I was watching the sparrow whilst eating my dinner. She was sat quietly enjoying the food in the evening sun when a cat leapt right onto the shoulder-height table, grabbed the bird and ran off. This was the final straw.”

The 57-year-old said he has spent more than 10 years converting the garden at his Gloucestershire home into a “paradise for birds” and set up video surveillance when he noticed how numbers had fallen and how many were being killed. He has sent local households in the village of Dursley pictures from video footage of the worst offenders and said he has identified 10 ‘killer cats’ in the area.

Dr Mowforth claimed complaints had been made to the police and RSPCA about him, adding “the extreme elements within the pro-cat brigade have threatened arson.”

If I had cats repeatedly invading my yard and murdering our little friends like Fred the woodpecker and Jeremy the kestrel, I’d simply shoot them. Even if proper guns aren’t available in the UK, surely air pistols are. I don’t understand people who think their cats should be permitted to roam freely outside the house and onto other people’s property.

Of course, the gentleman is Oxford-educated, so he should be smart enough to figure out the obvious solution. Shoot the cat, toss it into the street, then run over it with your car. Problem solved.