Next up, locusts

I think we can safely drop the idea that God has any particular affection for America now:

A 5.9 magnitude earthquake centered in Virginia forced evacuations of all the monuments in Washington and rattled nerves from the southern state of Georgia to Martha’s Vineyard, the Massachusetts island in the northeast where President Barack Obama is vacationing. No injuries were immediately reported.

And across the South, a single thought echoed throughout a million minds as if they were one. “Only 5.9? Come on!”