Mailvox: the inexplicable antics of women

Drew is a bit discombobulated:

This is my first time writing to you, but I have followed your blog for about 6 months now. I was directed to your blog by a female friend after she quoted you on facebook. Many of your entries on politics and the economy are way over my head, but I do learn something from time to time. The articles that i find most applicable to me are the ones on women. Which is why I’m writing to you today.

One of my female friends has never seemed the least bit interested in me. Until two days ago, when I made it known that I will be moving out of state for a job. All of a sudden, she’s been all over me, totally out of character. I’ve talked to one of my friends, and he said he’s experienced the same thing when he was about to move away. What is it that makes women ignore guys until they no longer have a shot? Is it the “you always want what you can’t have” principle? Or is it something more sinister at work?

I don’t know if I would describe it as anything sinister, as it is probably the same reason women are so much more sexually accessible when they are traveling away from home than when in their home environment. I suspect she is sufficiently attracted enough to you to be interested in no-strings sex, but not enough to want an actual relationship. This is most likely because your status in the socio-sexual hierarchy is insufficient to impress her friends. Never forget that women are not pack animals by nature, they are herd animals until they emotionally bond with a man, at which point they abandon the herd in favor of a pairing that can form the nucleus of a new pack.

So, since you have already made it clear that you’re not going to be around in the future, she is free to pursue a dalliance with you without having her association with you judged by her herd and harming her status with it. This is why skilled male predators always make a point of cutting off a woman from the herd, because their chances of success with her always increase dramatically once she isn’t performing for her public.

But there is no reason you should take my word for it. This is a predictive model which we can test. I recommend that you perform a service to your fellow men and do the following experiment: Tell her that the plans for your job may be falling through and that because she is more important to you than any job could ever be, you are planning to turn down the job so that you can stay and be with her. If my interpretation is correct, she will be aghast at your response and attempt to convince you to take the job. Her unexpected attraction to you will also vanish as rapidly as it appeared.

If, on the other hand, I am incorrect and she reacts to the news with tears of joy before falling into your arms, well, you may want to actually reconsider taking the job and moving away. It’s always possible that she was just very shy and didn’t dare indicate how she felt until the last possible moment. Remember, it’s a lot harder to find a good woman who truly loves you than it is to find a job.