Needless ex-fatty angst over unexpected male interest:
There’s an intelligent, successful, charming bachelor in his 40s. Let’s call him George Clooney. So George, sick of women throwing themselves at him because he’s rich and famous, decides to go undercover. He grows out his beard, he gains weight, he starts wearing ripped sweatpants wherever he goes. He’s the exact same guy underneath, but it’s really important that a woman want him for him—not just for the dashing image he projects and the life he can provide. I’m Not Attracted To Him: Do I Date Him?
Now, George looks like a homeless man. He still has great knowledge of Darfur, Edward R. Murrow, and the politics behind oil. He can still turn a phrase and crack a joke. He still has an amazing smile…. It would probably not surprise you that George would struggle in his quest for love. He may blame women for not valuing him as a homeless man as much they did as an actor—but he’d be the one losing out.
The problem with the attitude that you should be desired for who you are is that your superficialities are an intrinsic part of you. Sometimes they are an accurate indicator of what lies within, sometimes they are misleading, but they are still a part of you either way. Moreover, no one is ever going to “get to know the real you” if you don’t give them a reason to want to do so in the first place. Weight isn’t like height; the only person the ex-fatty should be annoyed at is herself since clearly she could have lost the weight a long time ago.
However, I’m not entirely unsympathetic with the dilemma of the former fat girl. I once knew a very nice girl who had an incredibly pretty face and a fantastic body but did not have an iota of pretty girl syndrome in her. She really seemed to be bewildered by the idea that she might be attractive at all, let alone highly desirable. It turned out that she had been quite fat in junior high and high school, had never had a boyfriend, didn’t go to college, and was almost completely unprepared for how men would react to her when she lost all the extra weight. But she wasn’t bitter, she was simply scared.
People also tend to forget that more men go through this sort of transformation than women do, since being short for a man is rather like being fat for a woman. But most guys who finally catch up to and surpass the girls in terms of height are simply glad that the situation has changed, they’re not bitter because the opposite sex has finally developed an interest in them.
I wouldn’t get too carried away by the sudden interest if I was an ex-fatty. Let’s face it, the thin girl may have escaped temporarily, but there’s still a fat girl inside waiting to devour her.