Yeah, it’s The Onion. But it also happens to be more brutally honest than anything any Nice Guy is ever going to hear from his Best Female Friend:
I really like you. I do. You’re so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don’t really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want.
Now, I’m not a Nice Guy so this sort of thing has never bothered me. And I’m not saying the Be Great Friends approach can’t ever work for a guy, as I’ve seen it work. Of course, I’ve seen it work precisely one time. It only took three years… and the seduction significantly outlasted the actual relationship.