Dark Life

John IV solves the primary problem of modern biology:

Daniel Dennett illogically tried to argue that we should trust biologists because physicists get amazingly accurate results.

I know what the problem is and its solution. I propose a new adjunct to the theory of the tree of life: “Dark Life”. Just like quantum physics, there MUST exist an invisible, undetectable SOMETHING that fills in all the holes and problems with every calculation and theory. This way, the biologists don’t have to admit that they have completely wasted their whole lives, AND continue to draw funding from the taxpayer to continue their “studies”.

A brilliant solution, thus permitting biologists to obtain results that are every bit as accurate as physicists once the Dark Life variable is either added in, subtracted, or multiplied, as needed. I must say, I’m a little disappointed in myself for not coming up with this theory considering that I was the first scientist to discover Dark Vapor; obviously I’m a better physicist than biologist.