Home owners and “have-a go-heroes” have for the first time been given the legal right to defend themselves against burglars and muggers free from fear of prosecution…. They will be able to use force against criminals who break into their homes or attack them in the street without worrying that “heat of the moment” misjudgements could see them brought before the courts.
The good news: Brits can use force to defend themselves. The bad news: They still won’t be allowed to own weapons permitting them to do so effectively. But at least if Granny Wivelscombe does manage to kill a hulking 19-year old hoodie named Jamal by stabbing him in the eye with her knitting needles, she probably won’t be prosecuted for it.
Meanwhile, we can expect to see Rowan Williams tearfully beheading himself any day now, leaving behind a long-winded note apologizing at length to the British Muslim community for any trouble they might experience in disposing of his headless corpse.