Ode to tha ho

Dennis the Peasant is obviously crazy jealous… or is that smitten? I can never keep remember which one is the only reason to ever criticize Ms Malkin:

But as bad as cable is, what passes as news and political commentary on CNN, MSNBC and Fox on a nightly basis is simply beyond ghastly. And it doesn’t really matter whether your bent is Conservative or Liberal… It is all unbelievably bad. It’s as though every programming chief at every network vies to find the most obviously unsuitable politico in the entire 50 states and hand them their own hour-long show….

Working off the theory that most present-day Conservatives aren’t really looking for a place to think things though, and having seen the work of Surnow, no doubt Roger Ailes is simply to the point of demanding that Fox stock up on eye candy if real talent isn’t available. This, of course, explains why the passably pretty but absolutely batshit crazy Rachel Marsden was given a chance on Red Eye. After watching her only twice, I’m pretty sure she didn’t get the gig because either her intellect or her sense of humor overwhelmed everyone at Fox.

So now the only question is whether they’re going to be stupid enough to give Michelle Malkin her own show. You’d think someone over at Fox would have sat down and read In Defense of Internment and realized just about any guest on any given night could overmatch Michelle, but evidently that is not the case. I’ve watched her more than once over the past several weeks, and in a perverse way, I’d like to see her get a shot at her own show. Then again, I’m the sort of person who reads the obituaries for fun. The reason I think she’d be the Titanic of the airwaves is simple; television diminishes her strengths (such that they are) and magnifies her weaknesses. It would be a marriage made in Heaven… And genuinely hilarious television.

From what I’ve seen so far, here’s how Malkin’s dry run on O’Reilly’s show is shaking out:

First of all, Michelle Malkin is utterly humorless. As in devoid of all humor. Although this became pretty clear when she dressed up as a cheerleader and did the “Defeatocrats Cheer” on YouTube, the depth of her humorlessness doesn’t really come across in her blog. And her sense of self-importance is to the point of being painful… It’s so bad as to be almost Kerry-esque.

Second, the woman cannot think on her feet. In my own opinion, this is because she isn’t particularly bright. For all the trumpeting about her as an A-list Conservative blogger, there really isn’t a whole lot of “there” there on her blog. Her lack of any sort of grounding in the history, policy and political options in most major issues is both obvious and limiting… Especially when she’s face to face with people who are on top of things.

I truly, madly, deeply hope Me So Michelle will get her own show on Fox. If she does, I might even consider watching Fox for the first time in years, because it will certainly be more amusing than the average TV comedy.

And you wonder why I’d rather write books in obscurity than perform as a Washington lapdog for the visually-oriented pseudo-intellectual mini-masses.