At least you know you’re free

A state senator from Brooklyn said on Tuesday he plans to introduce legislation that would ban people from using an MP3 player, cell phone, Blackberry or any other electronic device while crossing the street in either New York City or Buffalo.

NewsChannel 4 reported that Sen. Carl Kruger is proposing the ban in response to two recent pedestrian deaths in his district, including a 23-year-old man who was struck and killed last month while listening to his iPod on Avenue T and East 71st Street In Bergen Beach.

“While people are tuning into their iPods and cell phones, they’re tuning out the world around them,” Kruger said. The proposed law would make talking on cell phones while crossing the street a comparable offense to jaywalking.

Why not just go all the way and ban walking while chewing gum? Boy, I’m sure glad women can vote, because otherwise, this just wouldn’t be a free country!

I have this image of purple-fingered suffrage fetishists strapped into gel-filled cocoons, lying curled into fetal positions with cables entering into every orifice in their bodies. And as they lie there, without even the smallest shard of human dignity left to them, they console each other with the thought that in only eighteen months, they can choose which of the two artificial intelligences on offer will be feeding off the Matrix for the next 100 years.

And while this absurd law hasn’t passed yet, I remember a lot of people insisting that the smoking bans would never come to pass either. Now that I think about it, I can even remember when people insisted that HMOs would reduce healthcare costs without hurting doctors’ salaries!

Ah well. We can always content ourselves with the amusing look of horror on women’s faces when the mandatory prostitution laws take effect. To each according to his need, from each according to his ability….