On second thought

It seems electing B. Hussein Obama to the presidency might not be all bad:

Only two weeks after the elections in November of 2008, the United States of America, a nation of former greatness, lay in absolute desolate ruin. Within the previous 72 hours a series of eight successive, delayed nuclear devices had been detonated. Indescribably large portions of metro Washington, D.C., Boston, Los Angeles, Chicago, Dallas, and two thirds of the island of Manhattan have been turned into steaming craters. Millions are dead. President George W. Bush is in intensive care; two-thirds of the Cabinet, including the vice president, are missing or dead.

President-elect Barack Obama faces the most enormous challenge of any incoming president in the history of the nation.

The question is if the benefit of getting rid of DC, Los Angeles and Manhattan are worth sacrificing Boston, Chicago and Dallas. My feeling is that it is not, because I simply can’t countenance the disturbance of Tom Landry’s grave at the Sparkman-Hillcrest Memorial Park.

By the way, what is “an indescribably large portion” of a city? Is Kevin McCullough unfamiliar with the classic unit of measure “the square mile”? If I recall correctly from my time in Florida, Jacksonville is the largest American city in terms of area at 874 square miles, therefore the size of the steaming craters in each of the eight aforementioned cities can presumably be described.