Mailvox: the edges of lunacy

Duke begins the grokking:

Ok Vox, I didn’t know you didn’t care much about who read you. I have just read your columns on WND and this is my first time on your blog.

It’s nothing personal, Duke, it’s just that I find it impossible to keep track of precisely who is going to get offended about what, so I simply let my prejudices and idiosyncracies define the limits. There’s no shortage of those who gape for a few seconds in astonished horror and hasten to depart, never to return; fortunately, this is not a commercial enterprise, my readers are not customers and pretty much anyone can stay or go as he pleases.

Never mind the girl rubbing up against you, that’s just Renee and it’s her way of breaking the ice. The two guys drinking in the corner are Jaime and Nate; Nate is the sober one. If a giant blond beast wielding a .50 caliber bursts into the room and starts screaming, it’s only Bane, hit the floor and you’ll be fine, he just likes to hose down hostile intruders every now and then. The talking white horse isn’t drunk, he just sounds like that because he’s off his medication for the nonce, and the two guys flinging monkey feces at each other are Cedarford and Scintan, they’re no trouble as long as you stay out of the crossfire.

Bill’s the guy with the George Bush promise ring, Franger’s the guy in the Che shirt and the little brunette with the introspective look is Crystal Lake. She looks harmless, but don’t mention abortion around her unless you really want to see her werewolf imitation up close and personal. The blonde ice princess is Spacebunny; content yourself with genuflecting before her.

The two guys banging on the tribal drums are MS and Verlch; if you see a pretty redhead laughing at them, whatever you do, do NOT ask her for her life’s story. The guys dancing like it’s 1999 are the Queer Party Friends; the one with no rhythm is Snowdog. As for the three guys with headphones, that’s Chad, St. Paul and JB, they think they’re doing a radio show so humor them and pretend that someone is actually listening.

There’s plenty more characters, should you elect to stick around, you will no doubt encounter them all.