From the Sports Guy’s mailbag:
Q: I was watching the final of “The Contender” when my wife made the observation, “Jesse Brinkley is way too hot to be married to that chubby girl.” Without even thinking I blurted out, “Well, she probably didn’t look like that when they got married.” Somehow my wife took that comment to mean that I think she is getting fat. Are all women irrational or is it just my wife?
Here’s a suggestion. If you want people to talk to you, don’t go out of your way to take offense at every word they utter.
Seriously, some people – usually, but not always women – make me wonder if they think they’re scoring bonus miles every time they manage to take umbrage at a perceived slight. Then again, considering how little I know about purchase-related reward plans, maybe they are.
The Sports Guy’s response:
SG: Nope. It’s not just your wife. During Monday night’s “Miss Universe” telecast, I had the following exchange with the Sports Gal:
Me: Wow, between Miss Venezuela and Miss Peru, I think we need to take our next vacation in South America.
Her: Very funny.
(Ten-second pause where you can hear their wheels turning as they slowly became angry.)
Her: “You know, you’re enjoying this show WAY too much. I wish they had these shows with guys.”
Me: “Yeah, but there’s one difference.”
Her: “What’s that?”
Me: “I wouldn’t watch a Mr. Universe show with you. In fact, I would rather kill myself.”
(Five-second pause as they’re totally flustered by a flawless, logical statement, followed by the obligatory obscenity.)