The intelligence of actors, or the lack thereof

Perhaps this answers The Sports Guy’s question about the possibility of an actor becoming punch drunk as the result of playing a boxer:

HOLLYWOOD star Sylvester Stallone has revealed he almost died during a fight scene in Rocky IV – when he instructed fighting partner Dolph Lundgren to beat him up.

The movie star felt sure he could tame the towering Scandinavian actor’s punches in the ring, but had no idea how fast and powerful his co-star was. Sly told “I go to Dolph Lundgren and I said, ‘Here’s what you do. I know we choreographed this but forget it. I want you to come out for the first 30 seconds, trying to take me out’.

“The next thing I know I was in intensive care with a tube in my nose and nuns walking round the bed, going ‘Can we get you something?'”

Dolph is a big, big guy, and unlike most action film stars – cough, Van Damme – he was the real deal when it comes to the martial arts. I always thought it was a shame that he couldn’t act very well, because he’s a very smart guy with an engineering Master’s who once won a scholarship to MIT. He tends to validate the theory that the dumber the actor, the emptier the vessel, the easier it is for the director to fill it and achieve a credible result.

However, for such a big guy, he can’t hold his liquor very well. I had to drag him back to his hotel after he all but passed out at a nightclub in Roppongi one night. I’m not sure how, but I somehow ended up with his leather jacket, which I returned to him a few days later. It was a really nice jacket, so nice that I might have been tempted to keep it if it hadn’t almost reached my knees.

Anyhow, I have no problem believing that he almost killed Mr. Stallone. I was knocked out once by a 6’6″ fighter who wasn’t anywhere nearly as fast or as skilled as Dolph Lundgren. Since F=MA, those giants can pack a monstrous punch.

Of course, the big guys always tend to forget the A portion of the equation. I’ll never forget the shock on the football players’ faces when one of the sprinters on my college team gave a linebacker who outweighed him by about fifty pounds a crude, but effective lesson in basic physics.