The bastard responsible

Nihilist in Golf Pants explains the real reason for The Miss:

4. January 1999. The 15-1 Vikings are about to ice the NFC Championship Game with a field goal by Gary Anderson, who hadn’t missed a single one all season. As they line up for the kick Ben says “That f——- going to miss. I know he is.” The f——misses. Ben takes no solace in his spot-on predictive skills.

I do hope someone nearby gave him a resounding slap on the back of the head after that happened. Come to think of it, I may do it myself when I finally meet Atomizer. It’s not that I’m still bitter, it’s just that I’m still pissed. There’s a brief spasm of inchoate rage that courses through my veins every time I see Gary Anderson knocking one through the uprights for the Titans. If no one is around, I sometimes snarl at the TV. “Oh, yeah, sure, no trouble hitting THAT one.”

I am absolutely certain that someone is eventually going to prove that through some freak of quantum mechanics, wearing or not wearing your gamer has a decisive influence on sporting events.

And when they do, we’ll have to put a suicide watch on Big Chilly.