The annotated Alanis Morrisette

I just sent off the book proposal for the book in which Pablo has such interest; here’s hoping that the publisher shares the same level of enthusiasm. The book is an explication of why so many American men do not feel inclined to date, let alone marry, their female compatriots. In honor of the occasion, I thought I’d share a little selection from Chapter 12: The Annotated Alanis Morrisette. The original lyrics are in normal text, my annotations are in italics below.

I want you to know that I’m happy for you

Thank you, thank you very much.

I wish nothing but the best for you both

You are too kind. Um, who is this?

An older version of me

If this is who I think it is, I would think you’d be worried about the 20-somethings by now.

Is she as perverted as me

Oh, it’s YOU! Yeah, you were a nutcase, weren’t you. Now it’s all coming back. But you weren’t half as good in bed as you thought you were.

Would she go down on you in a theater?

No, I have to admit, she probably wouldn’t. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all about the blowjobs, but I have to admit I’d just as soon not get busted for indecent exposure. I have a job, you know. What was that whole doing-it-in-public thing about anyhow?

Does she speak eloquently

Not particularly. On the other hand, she doesn’t know what a patriarchy is either. Points to her.