Suicide watch in Boston

Once again, as always, the Sports Guy does not disappoint. I am not a Yankees fan and I hate to revel in schadenfreude, but the Sports Guy without the familiar Red Sox albatross hanging around his neck would be like Abbott without Costello.

As a sports fan, sometimes you know when bad things are about to happen. You recognize the depressing signs because you’ve been there before. So maybe that’s the real “curse,” those moments when you turn into Haley Joel Osment in the Sixth Sense . . . only you aren’t seeing dead people, you’re seeing a dead ballgame. And when it’s happening to thousands of fans all at once, the resulting collective karma kills your team.

(Does any of this make sense? Of course not. I’m completely insane. The Red Sox have driven me insane. It’s official.)

Meanwhile, the Vikings are 5-0 and the governor of Minnesota has ordered guards to the border, with orders to shoot Sports Illustrated photographers on sight. Take no chances, Gov. Pawlenty. Everyone saw what happened when they put Jake Plummer on the cover.