This made me laugh:
Rome, II Calends, April CCCLX
SUBJECT: Recommendation for Senate Medal of HonorTO: Department of War, Republic of Rome
I. Recommend Caius Horatius, Captain of Foot, CMCMXIV, for the Senate Medal of Honor.
II. Captain Horatius has served XVI years, all honorable.
III. On the II day of March, during the attack on the city by Lars Porsena of Clausium and his Tuscan Army of CMX men, Captain Horatius, with Sergeant Sporius Laritus and Corporal Julius Herminius, held the entire Tuscan army at the far end of the bridge, until the structure could be destroyed, thereby saving the city.
IV. Captain Horatius did valiantly fight and kill one Major Picus of Clausium in individual combat.
V. The exemplary courage and the outstanding leadership of Captain Horatius are in the highest tradition of the Roman Army.