In Which I Solve the Communication Problem

About this time of year, we start seeing the usual “how to handle family conflict” articles appearing everywhere. The good news is that all of them have been rendered completely unnecessary by the election of President Donald Trump. Here is one simple trick that will completely eliminate the desire of anyone, friend or family, to discuss any politics or current events at the dinner table.

All you have to do is to respond to any politically-charged question or even complaint about current events with the following:

“I’m not at all concerned about that. The God-Emperor Trump will solve all our problems and his Second Coming is going to create a new Golden Age thanks to his team of crack innovators and our friends in Russia and China.”

I guarantee no one will even try to discuss politics within earshot of you no matter which side of the political aisle they happen to be. And even in the unlikely event that they actually want to broach the subject of the 47th President of the United States of America with you after that, they’ll soon retreat as soon as you start singing Four More Years.

Hey hey hey nana nay
The Man is back in town!
Hey hey hey nana nay
The second time around!

For bonus points, you can show them the page on Unauthorized where you can play them their choice of SEVEN DIFFERENT MIXES of Four More Years. Better yet, offer to play them all seven!

And yes, as it happens, I am cranking up The Man is Back edition right now. Along with a cup of coffee, it’s a great way to start any day. Let’s enjoy the hopium while we can.

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