The animals are plotting:
Matheys said a wild sow and four 60-pound piglets were recently discovered living in a swamp in an Eau Claire County forest. When DNR sharpshooters killed them, they discovered the pigs were living right in the middle of a wolf pack.
“I imagine the wolves hadn’t recognized them as prey or didn’t have a strategy for dealing with them yet. Eventually, I imagine the wolves would have figured it out,” Matheys said.
Or maybe they are thinking outside the reporter’s limited homo sapiens box and have already figured it out. Clearly, it is time to form a defense militia and defend ourselves from the nascent Porco-Lupine Anti-Human Liberation Front. Disturbingly, a quick survey of FEMA’s web site shows no signs of any federal preparations being made for this deadly threat to humanity.
I suggest paradropping Australian barby experts into the bush in coordination with a massive propaganda campaign, dropping cartoon leaflets of The Three Little Pigs into Wisconsin and Minnesota in order to drive a wedge between these allies of convenience.
There is little time. We must act soon, before those fearsome raccoons get into the act and it is too late! They’re related to bears, you know!